The Year in Paul: 2004

What I’ve Seen

50 First Dates

Anchroman:The Legend of Ron Burgundy

Cellular

Crash

Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

EuroTrip

Fahrenheit 9/11

Friday Night Lights

Garfield

Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Hellboy

Home on the Range

Hoodwinked

Howl’d Moving Castle

I, Robot

King Arthur

Lemony Snicket’s a Series of Unfortunate Events

Mean Girls

Miracle

Napoleon Dyamite

Ocean’s Twelve

Saved

Shark Tale

Shaun of the Dead

Shrek 2

Spider-Man 2

Super Size Me

Team America: World Police

The Aviator

The Bourne Supremacy

The Chronicles of Riddick

The Day After Tomorrow

The Forgotten

The Girl Next Door

The Incredibles

The Ladykillers

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

The Machinist

The Phantom of the Opera

The Polar Express

The Stepford Wives

The Terminal

Troy

Van Helsing

Wimbledon

47 Total

The Best of What I’ve Seen

The Year in Paul: 2003

What I’ve Seen

 

A Mighty Wind

American Wedding

Brother Bear

Bruce Almighty

Cheaper By the Dozen

Daredevil

Dr. Seuss’ The Cat in the Hat

Elf

Finding Nemo

Freaky Firday

Goodbye Lenin!

Gothika

How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

Hulk

Intolerable Cruelty

Kill Bill: Vol. 1

Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World

Mystic River

Old School

Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl

The School of Rock

Shortcut to Happiness

The Animatrix

The Corporation

The Fog of War

The Haunted Mansion

The Italian Job

The Jungle Book 2

The Last Samurai

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

The Matrix Reloaded

The Matrix Revolutions

Timeline

Touching the Void

Underworld

X2

36 Total

A mild improvement over 2002, if only because there are more good movies. The amount of crap remains pretty high, and will for a few years after this, I’d imagine. I feel much better about my top five though, and don’t feel the need to name any runners up.

Film Reviews: Prometheus and Cross of Iron

Prometheus

While I can’t say I’m a huge fan of the Alien franchise, I was still thoroughly intrigued by Ridely Scott’s return. The first movie, the original Alien, is a little too high on the old Spook-o-meter for me, but I still liked it and respect what Scott did in the film. The second, James Cameron’s Aliens, is much more to my taste, and I mostly really enjoy it. Mostly. I haven’t seen movies three or four, and don’t plan to, but the first two contain plenty of good material worth revisiting*. So how does Scott do in his long-awaited return to sci-fi?

*However, I actually have seen the Aliens vs. Predators movie (the first one, anyway), which no one seems to dispute is essentially a big-budget fan fiction.

A prequel in the way that X-Men: First Class is a prequel, Prometheus tells the story of two scientists, Shaw and Holloway (Noomi Rapace and Logan Marshall-Green) who are able to demonstrate a recurring star pattern among ancient cave paintings that are otherwise unconnected. Funded by the gigantic Weyland Corporation, the two proceed to a star system that matches the pattern on the titular starship, looking for an alien civilization that may have influenced the creation (or at least development) of mankind. Also on the ship are a frosty Weyland representative named Meredith Vickers (Charlize Theron), the amusingly laconic captain (Idris Elba), and an android named David (Michael Fassbender), whose motives remain murky. The ship finds the target planet without incident, but (unsurprisingly) things start to go awry once they disembark and find a large facility of some sort, stocked with containers of a mysterious black ooze.

The Year in Paul: 2002

What I’ve Seen

40 Days and 40 Nights

Austin Powers in Goldmember

Big Fat Liar

Blind Spot: Hitler’s Secretary

Catch Me If You Can

Clockstoppers

Gangs of New York

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Hero

Ice Age

In America

Kung Pow: Enter the Fist

Like Mike

Lilo and Stitch

Men in Black II

Minority Report

Mr. Deeds

Orange County

Pinocchio

Pokemon 4

Punch-Drunk Love
Red Dragon

Reign of Fire

Return to Never Land

Scooby-Doo

Snow Dogs

Spider-Man

Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron

Spy Kids 2: Island of Lost Dreams

Star Wars: Episode II—Attack of the Clones

The Bourne Identity

The Count of Monte Cristo

The Emperor’s Club

The Lord of Rings: The Two Towers

The Master of Disguise

The Powerpuff Girls

The Rookie

The Santa Clause 2

The Time Machine

The Tuxedo

Treasure Planet

Tuck Everlasting

Two Weeks Notice

Van Wilder

XXX

44 Total

2002 is the first year in a unfortunate time that will last for another few after this, during which I was finally old enough (12, for most of the year) to start seeing a lot of movies but not old enough to recognize when a movie is going to be, y’know, good. Consequently, I’ve seen a ton of terrible movies from 2002, and not a whole lot of good ones. I mean, look at that list above again. Yikes.

Film Reviews: 21 Jump Street and Vicky Cristina Barcelona

21 Jump Street

As time goes on, story ideas that were once relatively serious can seem increasingly comical. This is a trend that Hollywood has increasingly noticed; starting with 2004’s adaptation of Starsky and Hutch, it has become increasingly common to repurpose old properties into the new millennium with a fresh coat of irony. Just this year we’ve seen two, Dark Shadows and new Jonah Hill comedy, 21 Jump Street. The new film takes place in the same universe as the 80s TV show, and indeed several of the original cast members have brief cameos. Unlike the original show, however, this installment does not hesitate even slightly going for laughs above all else.

We begin with a brief prologue showing out two main characters, Morton Schmidt (Jonah Hill) and Greg Jenko (Channing Tatum), in high school. Schmidt is the smart dweeb who gets picked on by dumb jock Jenko, but when the two later attend the police academy together, both realize it is in their best interest to work together and they quickly become friends. However, neither is particularly good at the job—Schmidt is not assertive or confidant enough to be much of an intimidating presence to criminals, and Jenko too dumb to master the finer delicacies of the job*. The police chief (played in one hilarious scene by Ron Swanson himself, Nick Offerman) decides that the two nitwits would be better used in the newly restarted Jumpstreat program to infiltrate a local high school undercover and find the source of potent new drug that has found its way to the market. Unsurprisingly, things do not go smoothly.

Film Reviews: Fantastic Four Rise of the Silver Surfer and American Wedding

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer

 

The middle of the last decade was not a good time for superhero movies. The current crop (which started with 2000’s X-Men) had begun to feel stale; the best of the early franchises, the X-Men and Spider-Man movies, were reaching their respective putrid third installments, and as a whole the genre was beginning to feel tired. In 2005, Fox released a Fantastic Four movie that could generously be labeled mediocre. Though already strained for creativity (aside from Michael Chiklis’ touching and energetic take on The Thing), box office returns necessitated a sequel by Hollywood conventional wisdom, so two years later we got Rise of the Silver Surfer. Its acronym, ROTSS, is an appropriate description of the result.

Taking place sometime after the first movie concluded, Rise of the Silver Surfer deals with the immanent threat of Galactus, a major marvel villain (here, somewhat inexplicitly, depicted as a huge cloud) who devours a planet in the film’s opening scene. We transition back to Earth, where we learn that the Four’s mega-celebrity status is getting in the way of the nuptials of Reed Richards (Ioan Gruffudd) and Susan Storm (Jessica Alba). As they get ready for another attempt to tie the knot, strange things are happening worldwide, seemingly connected to a silver streak that appears in the sky. Can our heroes figure out a way to stop the impending threat before it’s too late?

The Year in Paul: 2001

What I’ve Seen

A Beautiful Mind

A Knight’s Tale

American Pie 2

Amelie

Atlantis: The Lost Empire

A Beautiful Mind

Black Hawk Down

Black Knight

Cats & Dogs

Cowboy Bebop: The Movie

Donnie Darko

Dr. Doolittle 2

Enemy at the Gates

Evolution

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius

Legally Blonde

Millennium Actress

Monsters, Inc.

Not Another Tean Movie

Ocean’s 11

Pearl Harbor

Planet of the Ape

Recess: School’s Out

Rush Hour 2

Shrek

Spirited Away

Spy Kids

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

The Mark of Cain

The One

The Princess Diaries

The Royal Tenenbaums

Zoolander

34 Total

Movie Reviews: Chronicle, Men in Black III, Cars 2

Chronicle

With very few exceptions, I don’t watch horror movies. I don’t like the sensation of being scared, and so I have little interest in spending time and/or money watching something that is primarily interested in scaring me. One of the consequences of this avoidance, however, is that I have no real experience with the increasingly popular “found footage” genre, which (other than Cloverfield and a few other minor films that I have not seen) is mostly contained to the horror genre. As a result, this approach—especially in the context of a superhero origin story—seemed fresh and interesting.

Chronicle is the story of how three relatively normal teenage boys gain superpowers. Andrew, played by Dane DeHaan, is shy and introverted, frequently bullied both at school and by his unemployed, alcoholic father. His cousin Matt (Alex Russell) is a stoner with a fondness for pretentious philosophy, but is still able to fit in much better than Andrew. Matt’s friend Stephen (Michael B. Jordan, of The Wire and Friday Night Lights) is an extroverted golden boy, good at seemingly anything he tries and an aspiring politician. One night at a rave that Matt convinces Andrew to attend, the three find a mysterious meteorite (or something….) that grants them the power of telekinesis. As the boys use their powers, they grow stronger and stronger, eventually allowing the boys to fly, lift cars, and more. But although the three become fast friends, all is not well with Andrew, who remains lonely and isolated.

The Year in Paul: 2000

What I’ve Seen

Almost Famous

American Psycho

Battle Royale

Beautiful

Best in Show

Chicken Run

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

Dinosaur

Dungeons & Dragons

Gladiator

How the Grinch Stole Christmas

Memento

Miss Congeniality

Mission: Impossible II

O Brother, Where Art Thou?

Pitch Black

Remember the Titans

Requiem for a Dream

Rugrats in Paris

Scary Movie

Snatch

The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle

The Emperor’s New Groove

The Endurance

The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas

Titan A.E.
Traffic

Unbreakable

X-Men

29 Total

The 2012 I'm Right Awards

Welcome to the second annual I’m Right awards, we’re so delighted to have you! There are going to be a few changes from last year. For one, I’m abandoning the whole “random order” gimmick, on account of the fact that it was dumb. Instead, I’m replacing it with a new, better gimmick—original categories! I’ve dispensed with some categories, and will be replacing them with new and better ones. The eliminated categories: the three Shorts categories*, Best Documentary (I might have an opinion on this one in a few years, but I have yet to see any 2011 documentaries), Best Foreign Language Film (ditto), Best Original Song (stupid category), and Best Makeup (ditto). That’s seven eliminated categories, so I need to come up with seven new ones. We’ll see how I do.

*Although I actually did see the live-action shorts this year, I just don’t think they belong in the show with the feature films. For the record, my pick would be The Shore.

Also, this year I’m going to ignore what the Academy did altogether, and instead present my nominees in each category and the winner. That should make the presentation less messy. A few categories might have less than five nominees, if I just haven’t seen enough films that qualify. In roughly descending order of importance (interspersed with my new categories), as determined by Wikipedia:

The Year in Paul: 1999

The long-delayed cinema chronology is back. In honor of the fact that we've finally reached the point where it makes sense to go year-by-year, the series will continue under a new name.

What I’ve Seen

10 Things I Hate About You

All About My Mother

American Beauty

American Pie

Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me

Baby Geniuses

Bicentennial Man

Dogma

Election

Fantasia 2000

Fight Club

Galaxy Quest

Inspector Gadget

The Iron Gian

The Matrix

A Midsummer Night’s Dream

My Favorite Martian

Mystery Men

October Sky

Office Space

Pokemon: The First Movie

The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc

The Simple Life of Noah Dearborne

The Sixth Sense

The Virgin Suicides

South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut

Star Wars: Episode I—The Phantom Menace

Stuart Little

The Talented Mr. Ripley

Tarzan

Toy Story 2

Wakko’s Wish

The War Zone

32 Total