Friday, May 4, 2018

The 2018 Paultacular Bruene Awards

Hello and welcome to the eighth (!!) annual Paultacular Bruene awards, coming to you live on the west coast (tape-delayed in Hawaii, Alaska, Guam, and American Samoa) from a one-bedroom apartment in North Seattle.

This year is going to be a little shorter (a little shorter) than in years past, in large part because this is the fewest movies I’ve seen before writing this since the first year, only 46 movies released in 2017. That’s a full 20 less than last year, though in my defense I spent the bulk of the past 12 months either studying for the bar exam or as a practicing attorney, so ¯\_()_/¯ whatryagonnado. Though there are a few movies I didn’t get to that I wanted to (like All The Money In The World, The Greatest Showman and literally anything in a foreign language or any documentary), I think I did a pretty good job all things considered.

Anyways, here’s the format, almost entirely unchanged from the last few years. I’m going to run through a bunch of categories and give my top five for the year (which I’ve termed “contenders”) and then give a winner. Many of the categories are copied from standard awards categories, plus a few of my own creation (and minus a few I don’t like or didn’t see enough to judge, like, as noted above, anything involving foreign language films). This is all strictly subjective, which, though obvious, I feel like I should mention because my personal taste in movies is further from consensus for 2017 than usual—a lot of the popular (and I mean that both in a critical and commercial sense) 2017 movies I liked but didn’t love. No shots intended at anything or anyone omitted here.

So without much further ado…The Pauls!

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

The 2017 Paultacular Bruene Awards

Aloha everyone to the seventh (!) annual Paultacular Bruene Awards, formerly known as the I’m Right Awards. I think the ironic bluster that characterized the previous title (and sometimes content) has run its course as a joke, so I’m doing a minor rebranding. Focus group testing has been very positive.

Here’s the format, pretty much unchanged: I’m going to run through and give my own five contenders (renamed from “nominees” because I wasn’t really nominating anything) and winners for all of the traditional Oscar film categories, with a few tweaks. I’ve removed categories about which I lack an opinion*, due to either a) not having seen (m)any, like the three shorts categories, or b) I don’t care about, like Best Makeup.

But, due to a tax loophole I’m exploiting, for every category I take away I add one back. Bolded words in italics are winning movies, bolded words or phrases not in italics are hyperlinks.

And, without much further ado…the Pauls!

*Dangling prepositions are part of the old brand. That’s something I feel very strongly about. Wait, shi-

Sunday, March 6, 2016

The 2016 I'm Right Awards



Greetings and salutations, welcome to the sixth (!) annual I’m Right Awards!  I can’t believe I’ve been doing this stupid thing for six years now, you’d figure eventually I’d get a life.  Well, you’d be wrong about that, and probably other stuff too, ya dummy.  (The last few months have taught me that apparently insulting people makes you popular, so I’m trying it out.  See, e.g., Trump v. Bush). Meanwhile, I’m right, about movies at least.

The rules are pretty much unchanged from the last couple of years: I’m going to run through and give my own five nominees and winners for all of the traditional Oscar film categories, with a few little tweaks. I’ve removed the categories that I don’t have an opinion about, due to either a) not having scene (m)any, like Best Documentary, or b) I don’t care about, like Best Makeup and Hairstyling. But I am a just and benevolent god, and for every category I’ve taken away, I’ve added one of my own (okay not quite, I didn't replace the three shorts categories). These new categories are mostly the same as they’ve been the last couple of years, but there are a few tweaks, and I’m trying out a brand new one.  Hooray!

All of this is, of course, only in my own humble opinion…though I am right. It says so in the title.

And, without much further ado…the Pauls!

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

The 2015 I'm Right Awards



Welcome, welcome, to the fifth annual I’m Right Awards, celebrating everything that I was right about in 2014. Actually, no, that would take me weeks to write, so why don’t we focus on something a little more specific, maybe…hmm, I don't know, there are so many options. Wait, did someone say movies? Sounds great!

The rules are pretty much unchanged from the last couple of years: I’m going to run through and give my own five nominees and winners for the traditional Oscar film categories, with a few exceptions. I’ve removed some of the categories that either a) I’m not really qualified to judge due to, you know, not having seen (m)any (see, e.g., Best Documentary), or b) I don’t give a turd about (like Best Original Song). But as Paul taketh away, Paul also giveth, so for every category I’ve taken away, I’ve added one of my own. These new categories are the same as last year, which means nothing more than I didn’t feel like spending time trying to think of new ones. The only real change from last year is that I have reinstated the two different Screenplay categories.

All of this is, of course, only in my own humble opinion…though I am right. It says so in the title.

And, without much further ado…the Pauls!


Thursday, December 4, 2014

Letterboxd

In case anyone cares, I've pretty much entirely moved my movie reviewing over to Letterboxd.com (specifically http://letterboxd.com/teddroe/). I'm still planning on writing another I'm Right Awards here in a few months, and perhaps some other stuff, but most of what I'm writing now is over there.

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

The 2014 I'm Right Awards



Velkommen, bienvenue, benvenuto, tervetuloa, and welcome, to the fourth annual I’m Right Awards! It’s so lovely to have all you beautiful and sophisticated people—with great taste in seldom-updated blogs—with me. No, you’re the best!

Quick rundown of the rules, which are mostly unchanged from last year: I’m going to go, category by category, through many of the Oscar categories and give my personal list of what the nominees, and winner, should have been. In my humble opinion, of course…though, after all, I am right. It says so right in the title.

Anyways, like in the past few years, I’ve replaced a few of the Oscar categories with new ones of my own. Some I ditched because I think they’re dumb, or at least don’t really fit in with the rest, like the shorts categories. Others I’ve chosen to replace simply because I haven’t really seen enough films to render any sort of opinion, namely Best Foreign Film and Best Documentary. I’ve gotten rid of a couple of my original categories from last year and replaced them with what I think are better one; Best Trailer is gone, as is Best Sequel, Remake, or Ripoff.

Finally, I’ve consolidated Best Adapted and Best Original Screenplay into one category (Best Screenplay); I understand the value of treating them differently (adapting source material and coming up with your own are very different tasks), but the distinctions were giving me a headache. So, fuck it.

And, without much further ado…the Pauls!

Saturday, November 30, 2013

The Year in Paul: 2006


What I’ve Seen

300
American Dreamz
Babel
Barnyard
Blood Diamond
Borat
Cars
Cashback
Casino Royale
Children of Men
Eragon
Flags of Our Fathers
For Your Consideration
Half Nelson
Hollywoodland
Idiocracy
Inside Man
Jesus Camp
Letters from Iwo Jima
Little Miss Sunshine
Man of the Year
Mission: Impossible III
Nacho Libre
Night at the Museum
Notes on a Scandal
Open Season
Over the Hedge
Pan’s Labyrinth
Paprika
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest
Scoop
Snakes on a Plane
Stranger than Fiction
Superman Returns
Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
The Da Vinci Code
The Departed
The Devil Wears Prada
The Fountain
The Good Shepherd
The Illusionist
The Last King of Scotland
The Lives of Others
The Pink Panther
The Prestige
The Queen
This Film Is Not Yet Rated
V For Vendetta
X-Men: The Last Stand
50 Total