Greetings and salutations, welcome to the sixth (!) annual I’m Right Awards! I can’t believe I’ve been doing this stupid thing for six years now, you’d figure eventually I’d get a life. Well, you’d be wrong about that, and probably other stuff too, ya dummy. (The last few months have taught me that apparently insulting people makes you popular, so I’m trying it out. See, e.g., Trump v. Bush). Meanwhile, I’m right, about movies at least.
The rules are pretty much unchanged from the last couple of years: I’m going to run through and give my own five nominees and winners for all of the traditional Oscar film categories, with a few little tweaks. I’ve removed the categories that I don’t have an opinion about, due to either a) not having scene (m)any, like Best Documentary, or b) I don’t care about, like Best Makeup and Hairstyling. But I am a just and benevolent god, and for every category I’ve taken away, I’ve added one of my own (okay not quite, I didn't replace the three shorts categories). These new categories are mostly the same as they’ve been the last couple of years, but there are a few tweaks, and I’m trying out a brand new one. Hooray!
All of this is, of course, only in my own humble opinion…though I am right. It says so in the title.
And, without much further ado…the Pauls!