Friday, September 30, 2011

The 10 Funniest Examples of Unintentional Innuendo in Harry Potter

And now for another dose of juvenile humor, even less mature than last time. My justification for including this on the blog is that there were 8 Harry Potter movies. So what if all of these are from the books? Hopefully I'll have some real content finished soon.

Drumroll Please...

10) "Harry could see Draco banging his goblet on the table. It was a sickening sight."

9) "People may be forced to conclude that Grindelwald simply conjured a white handkerchief from the end of his wand and came quietly."

8) '"...another person was panting and coughing and staggering around. Hermione had come again, as she had come when the snake attacked..."'

7) "He pushed the door ajar and peered inside - and a horrible scene met his eyes. Snape and Filch were inside, alone. Snape was holding his robes above his knees."

6) ""I know you did Mark Evans two nights ago —" "He was asking for it," snarled Dudley. "

5) 'Lupin let go of Black and turned to [Hermione]. She had raised herself off the floor and was pointing at Lupin, wild-eyed.
"You— you—"
"—you and him!"
"Hermione, calm down—"
"I didn't tell anyone!" Hermione shrieked. "I've been covering up for you—"
"Hermione, listen to me, please!" Lupin shouted. "I can explain—" '

4) '"...when [The Room Of Requirement] appears, it is always equipped for the seeker's needs. Dobby has used it, sir," said the elf, dropping his voice and looking guilty, "when Winky has been very drunk." '

3) '"...You treat it regularly?"
"Polished it last night," said Cedric, grinning.
Harry hooked down at his own wand. He could see finger marks all over it. He gathered a fistful of robe from his knee and tried to rub it clean surreptitiously. Several gold sparks shot out of the end of it. Fleur Delacour gave him a very patronizing look, and he desisted.'

2) '"[Harry] contented himself with scrawling a note to Ron: Let's do it tonight. Ron read the message, swallowed hard, and looked sideways at the empty seat usually filled by Hermione."'

1) Just read the entire series and mentally replace the D in "wand" with a G. For a good example of what you can get (from book 5):

"Snape pulled out his wang from an inside pocket of his robes and Harry tensed in his chair, but Snape merely raised the wang to his temple and placed the tip into the greasy roots of his hair".

I hope that was illuminating for all.

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