Like I did last year, I'm going to, category by category, go through my personal picks for what should have been nominated for and won the Oscars--and on account of how my name isn't Oscar, we'll call these the Pauls.
I've ditched a number of categories from the real thing, either because I just haven't seen enough to judge (Best Documentary), or I think the category is dumb (Best Original Song). I've replaced them with a few categories of my own, which are similar to last year, though two have been eliminated, one expanded, one tweaked, and one new one added. Well, sort of two added...you'll see when you get there.
So without much further ado...
Best Visual Effects
The Nominees:
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
Life of Pi
Looper
Prometheus
Best Performance by an Animal, Idea, or Inanimate Object
The first original category, the rules remain the same as last year: to qualify, something must be more or less indispensable to the film in question, preferably in an interesting way. It can be important for the plot (a MacGuffin), to a character (most animals in films), or simply to the tone or theme of the film. Bottom line, it has to be something memorable.
The Nominees:
Dr. King's Dentist Cart —Django Unchained
The Fried Chicken—Killer Joe
The French Flag—Les Miserables
Bonny the Shi Tzu—Seven Psychopaths
Kristen Stewart — Snow White and the Huntsman (just kidding)
The Helicopter— Zero Dark Thirty
Not nearly as strong a field this year as last, unfortunately. We weren't terribly far from a nomination for Jennifer Lawrence's spandex from Silver Linings Playbook. Though I'm a little tempted to go with the Fried Chicken for sheer outrageousness, I'm going to have to go with The French Flag, which gave a truly bravura performance in Les Miserables. And sang better than Russell Crowe.
Best Film Editing
The Nominees:
Argo
Cloud Atlas
Chronicle
The Master
Zero Dark Thirty
A very strong category. I almost went with Zero Dark Thirty for managing the impressive feat of making a nearly three hour procedural gripping, but I'm actually going to go with Cloud Atlas. I didn't totally like the Wachowski's latest, but to the extent that it did work, one can credit the fairly remarkable inter-editing of the different stories.
Best Sequel, Remake, or Rip-Off
The next original category is inspired by the Razzie category of a similar name. And to be clear, it doesn’t have to be a sequel so long as it’s clearly coming from the same continuity. A prequel like The Hobbit is perfectly qualified.
The Nominees:
The Dark Knight Rises
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
The Hunger Games
Skyfall
If you've ever seen the Japanese film Battle Royale, you'll understand what The Hunger Games is doing on this list. The top four here are incredibly strong, and represent some of the best films of the year. You'll be seeing all of them again. But the winner (with The Dark Knight Rises as a close second) is Sam Mendes remarkable Skyfall, which is the best Bond I've seen by a pretty considerable margin.
Best Costume Design
The Nominees:
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
Lincoln
Les Miserables
Moonrise Kingdom
Best Cinematography
The Nominees:
The Master
Prometheus
Skyfall
Zero Dark Thirty
One of the committee's favorite categories, both here and in real life, this one has been decided for months, ever since the Committee saw Roger Deakins' amazing work in Skyfall. Two scenes in particular stand out; the confrontation atop the Shanghai skyscraper and, well, the entire climax of the movie, but especially the bit around (and in) the frozen lake. Ain't nothing touching that.
Best Scene
Last year, I replaced the shorts with three original categories--best
opening, best ending, and best scene. This year I've decided to
eliminate the first two because there was so much redundancy with Best
Scene. Instead, I'm expanding Best Scene to ten instead of five, to
accommodate the switch. I've tried to name these as vaguely as possible,
so that anyone who hasn't seen the film won't be able to know what I'm
talking about.
The Bridges of Avignon—Amour
The Bridges of Avignon—Amour
The Consequences of Dr. King Losing His Temper—Django Unchained
The Riddle Game — The Hobbit
Night at Sea — Life of Pi
The First Processing — The Master
I Dreamed a Dream—Les Miserables
The Confrontation with Aggie — ParaNormanNight on the Moor — Skyfall
The Opening Credits — Skyfall
The Raid — Zero Dark Thirty
After the two scenes from Skyfall split the vote, Anne Hathaway's giant eyes aren't quite enough to persuade the committee to change their minds. The best scene of the year goes to a recreation of one of the most important moments of the past decade, The Raid from the climax of Zero Dark Thirty.
Best Art Direction
The Nominees:
Life of Pi
Prometheus
The Master
Moonrise Kingdom
Though it pains me to take any awards away from Middle Earth, I'm giving the nod to the delightful Moonrise Kingdom. I...don't have anything else to say on this one. Moving on.
Best Sound Mixing
I'll keep the clarifying blurb I wrote last year: "I
actually asked an expert what the difference between this and editing
is, and the answer I got was that editing is the creation of sound
effects while mixing is the actual placing of them (as well as the score
and dialogue) into the final film. Or whatever."
The Nominees:
Beasts of the Southern Wild
Life of Pi
Looper
Prometheus
Zero Dark Thirty
Always a tough one, but I think the best use of sound this year came in the surprisingly widely-acknowledged Beasts of the Southern Wild, which had a certain low-budget crudeness that seemed to make it's technical achievements even more innovative and impressive
Best Sound Editing
The Nominees:
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
Moonrise Kingdom
Prometheus
Skyfall
As much as I loved Wes Anderson's unusually understated work here, this one is also going to The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey for sheer technical quality. For the second year in a row, visual effects and sound mixing are going together, but thank goodness this year to a much better movie
Best Original Score
The Nominees:
Django Unchained
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
Life of Pi
Moonrise Kingdom
There was only one soundtrack I actually came close to buying this year, and (despite my love of Howard Shore's work from the original trilogy), it wasn't from Hobbit. Instead, we're again going Moonrise Kingdom. Strangely, and the Committee swears this is entirely coincidence, this is fourth technical category that came down to Moonrise Kingdom versus The Hobbit. Which seems weird.
Best Animated Feature
The Nominees:
Brave
ParaNorman
Wreck-It Ralph
Unlike last year, I saw three animated movies this year that I consider good enough to give a nomination here. It's a pretty close race between the top two, but instead of Brave, I'm going to surprise myself and give the award to ParaNorman, a movie that starts off pretty forgettably but becomes almost shockingly good in the final Act, as represented in it's unlikely Best Scene nomination above.
Most Enjoyable Feature
Last year this category was Best Comedy, but frankly this year there just weren't enough decent comedies to be worth having a category (well, there probably weren't last year either). So instead, I'm going to broaden it a bit to include the movies that the Committee had the purest, most enjoyable experience watching, whether a comedy or a kickass action movie.
The Nominees:
The Avengers
Casa De Mi Padre
Django Unchained
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
Shockingly, the Committee had a better time at the movies (or at the Netflix, as the case may be) than when it saw The Hobbit, albeit only once. Thanks Joss Whedon, for giving us The Avengers, which was awesome
Best Writing—Adapted Screenplay
The Nominees:
Beasts of the Southern Wild
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
Killing Them Softly
Lincoln
Not an overwhelmingly strong category this year, and it's still a pretty clear win for Tony Kushner's work adapting (a piece of) Team of Rivals. That Kushner managed to make what was essentially just a legislative battle as gripping as he does is pretty damned impressive. Lincoln it is.
Best Writing—Original Screenplay
The Nominees:
Django Unchained
The Master
Moonrise Kingdom
Zero Dark Thirty
A dramatically stronger category than Adapted. It seems odd to include something that is so unlike a typical fictional film here, but as tempted as I am to give it to either Tarantino or Whedon (and yes, I know that The Avengers is considered adapted by the academy because it's based on existing characters, but that's stupid, it's an original story), Mark Boal's stupendous part research project, part procedural thriller Zero Dark Thirty gets the nod here.
Best Trailer
The first new category of 2013! I wanted to celebrate the craft that goes into making a good trailer, which is a deceptively difficult job: you have 90-150 seconds to establish the stars, premise, and appeal (humor, action, drama, etc) of a two hour or more film, without giving away plot twists or endings. The editing of trailers is often almost as impressive as the editing of the feature film.
To qualify, a trailer had to both make me want to see the movie AND be memorably artistic in some other way. And to be clear, this is trailers for movies released this year, not trailers that were released this year.
The Nominees:
Okay, you caught me, really the Hobbit trailer isn't anything special, but it did give me goosebumps the first time I saw it, so there's that. This is actually a tough call, and Beasts and Les Mis are both more than worthy contenders, but after much deliberation I'm going with Prometheus. The screeching still haunts my dreams, and it features my most quoted line of the year: "We were so wrong!!!". It also gets bonus points for being much more coherent than the actual film.
Aiieeee! Aiieee! Aiiiee!
Best Ensemble
Aiieeee! Aiieee! Aiiiee!
Best Ensemble
Another original category, this one is to celebrate the overall casting in a film before we get to the individual awards.
The Nominees:
Django Unchained
Lincoln
Les Miserables
Moonrise Kingdom
A really strong category this year, I could justify giving it to any of those five, and a few others as well (The Hobbit and The Dark Knight Rises, among others, could have easily been in there). Lincoln is probably deepest (those scenes in Congress were positively overflowing with great character actors) and Django the most ostentatiously great, but I'm going to dock the former a point or two for being dominated by one performance (which goes a little against the spirit of the category) and the later a point for having an odd absence of great female characters—no knock on Kerry Washington, but she isn't given much to do.
Much as pains me to have to avoid making an Assemble/Ensemble joke with The Avengers, but in the end, after a bloody five-way brawl, Moonrise Kingdom emerges victorious. It's chock full of great performances, and it grieves me dearly that I couldn't make room for any of them in the individual awards.
Speaking of which...
Much as pains me to have to avoid making an Assemble/Ensemble joke with The Avengers, but in the end, after a bloody five-way brawl, Moonrise Kingdom emerges victorious. It's chock full of great performances, and it grieves me dearly that I couldn't make room for any of them in the individual awards.
Speaking of which...
Best Supporting Actress
The Nominees:
Doona Bai—Cloud Atlas
Anne Hathaway—The Dark Knight Rises
Judy Dench—Skyfall
Anne Hathaway—Les Miserables
Amy Adams—The Master
That's right, fools*! Two nominations for Anne Hathaway! Team Anne!
It wasn't a particularly strong field, but the Committee is happy with these five. And it swears it is honestly of the opinion that two of the five best supporting performances of the year were given by Hathaway. She was great in both movies, and frankly the Committee might put them both on top over the field (and definitely over Sally Field. Heh). Hell, the Committee was really, really sorely tempted to throw caution to the wind and take The Dark Knight Rises, but in the end I can't go against that one goddamn scene in Les Miserables. Though she was really great in the rest of her screentime too. But that stupid, amazing song...
(I can only hope that my Lady Love Amy Adams can find it in her heart to forgive me. You're my everything, Amy.)
*I was going to use the word "bitches" here, but realized that a segment on actresses might not be the best venue for that word. I'm no Seth MacFarlane (cheap shot, I know).
It wasn't a particularly strong field, but the Committee is happy with these five. And it swears it is honestly of the opinion that two of the five best supporting performances of the year were given by Hathaway. She was great in both movies, and frankly the Committee might put them both on top over the field (and definitely over Sally Field. Heh). Hell, the Committee was really, really sorely tempted to throw caution to the wind and take The Dark Knight Rises, but in the end I can't go against that one goddamn scene in Les Miserables. Though she was really great in the rest of her screentime too. But that stupid, amazing song...
(I can only hope that my Lady Love Amy Adams can find it in her heart to forgive me. You're my everything, Amy.)
*I was going to use the word "bitches" here, but realized that a segment on actresses might not be the best venue for that word. I'm no Seth MacFarlane (cheap shot, I know).
Best Supporting Actor
The Nominees:
Samuel L. Jackson—Django Unchained
Christoph Waltz—Django Unchained
Philip Seymour Hoffman—The Master
Michael Fassbender—Prometheus
Jason Clarke—Zero Dark Thirty
Another double nomination! Egads! Albeit for the same film, not the same actor. And don't think the Committee wasn't tempted to throw Leo DiCaprio in there too.
Michael Fassbender gets the Doona Bai slot (it was coined very recently) for a really great performance in a disappointing movie. I considered making Waltz a lead, but I decided it's pretty clearly Jamie Foxx's movie, not his—after changing several acting classifications last year, the Committee saw no real need this year. Jason Clarke and Samuel L. Jackson competed in a titanic creepy-off, but despite the strength of the five nominees (and indeed the strength of the whole category, not an atypical occurrence whatsoever in Hollywood. There another 3-4 I deeply regret having to leave off) this one has a pretty clear winner: P.S. Hoffman's superlative work in The Master.
Michael Fassbender gets the Doona Bai slot (it was coined very recently) for a really great performance in a disappointing movie. I considered making Waltz a lead, but I decided it's pretty clearly Jamie Foxx's movie, not his—after changing several acting classifications last year, the Committee saw no real need this year. Jason Clarke and Samuel L. Jackson competed in a titanic creepy-off, but despite the strength of the five nominees (and indeed the strength of the whole category, not an atypical occurrence whatsoever in Hollywood. There another 3-4 I deeply regret having to leave off) this one has a pretty clear winner: P.S. Hoffman's superlative work in The Master.
Best Actress
The Nominees:
Emmanuelle Riva — Amour
Quvenzhané Wallis—Beasts of the Southern Wild
Aubrey Plaza—Safety Not Guaranteed
Jennifer Lawrence — Silver Linings Playbook
Jessica Chastain — Zero Dark Thirty
Jennifer Lawrence — Silver Linings Playbook
Jessica Chastain — Zero Dark Thirty
Nor do I have any regrets giving the award to Jessica Chastain, whose performance is a huge part of why Zero Dark Thirty is so great.
*I'm starting to regret my dedication to using the third person in this. I thought it would be (a little) funny, but now it seems kinda weird. Oh well, too late now.
Best Actor
The Nominees:
Jean-Louis Trintignant—Amour
Jack Black—Bernie
Jamie Foxx —Django Unchained
Daniel Day-Lewis—Lincoln
Daniel Day-Lewis—Lincoln
Joaquin Phoenix—The Master
All respect to Trintignant, Black (who was legitimately and shockingly good in Bernie), Foxx, and others including Bradley Cooper (who was the best part of the gawdawful Silver Linings Playbook—better than Lawrence, certainly), but this is and has always been a two man battle. I've changed my mind about a dozen times*, but I'm going to have to go with the amazing Daniel Day-Lewis for Lincoln, who the I increasingly believes is the best current actor in the world.
Though Joaquin Phoenix is pretty great too.
*Screw it, I'm abandoning the third person.
Though Joaquin Phoenix is pretty great too.
*Screw it, I'm abandoning the third person.
Second Best Director
The Nominees:
Christopher Nolan—The Dark Knight Rises
Quentin Tarantino—Django Unchained
Paul Thomas Anderson—The Master
Wes Anderson—Moonrise Kingdom
Sam Mendes—Skyfall
I've decided it's nearly impossible for me to separate the idea of a Best Director from Best Picture. After all...if your movie is the best, aren't you by definition the Best Director? Perhaps there will come a year when I have two or three movies very close at the top of my list and I think one is pushed over by something other than directing, but until that happens I've decided to package Best Director and Best Picture.
So that leaves our last original category: Second Best Director! Basically, the my choice for the Best Directing of a non-best picture (I thought about calling this Best Losing Director, but then it would have to have a winner and it would get all confusing).
All of these gentlemen directed the hell out of these films, and this is a strong list. But there's one on that list that stands out for specifically outstanding direction, and it isn't even my second favorite film of the year (which was probably Skyfall). The award goes to the man who is probably my least favorite director of the group in general but who killed it in 2012, Moonrise Kingdom's Wes Anderson.
Drumroll please...
I've decided it's nearly impossible for me to separate the idea of a Best Director from Best Picture. After all...if your movie is the best, aren't you by definition the Best Director? Perhaps there will come a year when I have two or three movies very close at the top of my list and I think one is pushed over by something other than directing, but until that happens I've decided to package Best Director and Best Picture.
So that leaves our last original category: Second Best Director! Basically, the my choice for the Best Directing of a non-best picture (I thought about calling this Best Losing Director, but then it would have to have a winner and it would get all confusing).
All of these gentlemen directed the hell out of these films, and this is a strong list. But there's one on that list that stands out for specifically outstanding direction, and it isn't even my second favorite film of the year (which was probably Skyfall). The award goes to the man who is probably my least favorite director of the group in general but who killed it in 2012, Moonrise Kingdom's Wes Anderson.
Drumroll please...
Best Picture
The Nominees:
The Dark Knight Rises
Django Unchained
Moonrise Kingdom
Skyfall
Zero Dark Thirty
I think as a whole 2012 was a little overrated as a film year. That top five (and another few, including The Hobbit) were very, very strong, but it petered out fairly quickly after that. It also didn't help that my favorite film of the year was the weakest best picture (if that made any sense) since 2007.
Still, that film was pretty frickin' amazing. And the winner for Best Picture of 2012 is Best Director (Directress?) Kathryn Bigelow's superb, regretfully controversial Zero Dark Thirty. Perhaps some other time I'll write in more detail about this movie (though, judging by my recent track record, probably not), but this really is a great, great film. Don't listen to its detractors—much of the controversy was politically motivated, both in Washington and Hollywood. Which is a real shame, but also in no way took anything away from my experience watching it.
And that, folks, is the third annual I’m Right awards. The final Tally is:
21 Jump Street — 1 Nomination, 0 Pauls
Argo — 2 Nominations, 0 Pauls
Argo — 2 Nominations, 0 Pauls
Amour — 3 Nominations, 0 Pauls
The Avengers — 7 Nominations, 1 Paul (Most Enjoyable Feature)
The Avengers — 7 Nominations, 1 Paul (Most Enjoyable Feature)
Beasts of the Southern Wild — 5 Nominations, 1 Paul (Best Sound Mixing)
Bernie — 1 Nomination, 0 Pauls
Brave — 2 Nominations, 0 Pauls
Casa De Mi Padre — 1 Nominations, 0 Pauls
Cloud Atlas — 2 Nominations, 1 Paul (Best Film Editing)
Chronicle — 1 Nomination, 0 Pauls
The Dark Knight Rises — 4 Nominations, 0 Paul
Django Unchained — 11 Nominations, 0 Pauls
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey —10 Nominations, 3 Pauls (Best Visual Effects; Best Costume Design; Best Sound Editing)
The Hunger Games — 1 Nomination, 0 Pauls
Killing Them Softly — 1 Nomination, 0 Pauls
Killer Joe — 1 Nomination, 0 Pauls
Lawless —1 Nomination, 0 Pauls
Killing Them Softly — 1 Nomination, 0 Pauls
Killer Joe — 1 Nomination, 0 Pauls
Lawless —1 Nomination, 0 Pauls
Life of Pi — 5 Nominations, 0 Pauls
Lincoln — 4 Nominations, 2 Pauls (Best Adapted Screenplay; Best Actor for Daniel Day-Lewis)
Looper —2 Nominations, 0 Pauls
The Master — 9 Nominations, 1 Paul (Best Supporting Actor for Phillip Seymour Hoffman)
Les Miserables — 6 Nominations, 2 Pauls (Best Performance by an Animal, Idea, or Inanimate Object for the French Flag; Best Supporting Actress for Anne Hathaway)
Moonrise Kingdom — 8 Nominations, 4 Pauls (Best Art Direction; Best Original Score; Best Ensemble; Second Best Director for Wes Anderson)
ParaNorman — 2 Nominations, 1 Paul (Best Animated Feature)
Prometheus — 7 Nominations, 1 Paul (Best Trailer)
Safety Not Guaranteed — 1 Nomination, 0 Pauls
Skyfall —8 Nominations, 2 Pauls (Best Sequel, Remake, or Ripoff; Best Cinematography)
Seven Psychopaths — 1 Nomination, 0 Pauls
Silver Linings Playbook — 1 Nomination, 0 Pauls
Wreck-It Ralph — 1 Nomination, 0 Pauls
Zero Dark Thirty — 10 Nominations, 5 Pauls (Best Scene; Best Original Screenplay; Best Actress for Jessica Chastain; Best Director for Kathryn Bigelow; Best Picture
Lincoln — 4 Nominations, 2 Pauls (Best Adapted Screenplay; Best Actor for Daniel Day-Lewis)
Looper —2 Nominations, 0 Pauls
The Master — 9 Nominations, 1 Paul (Best Supporting Actor for Phillip Seymour Hoffman)
Les Miserables — 6 Nominations, 2 Pauls (Best Performance by an Animal, Idea, or Inanimate Object for the French Flag; Best Supporting Actress for Anne Hathaway)
Moonrise Kingdom — 8 Nominations, 4 Pauls (Best Art Direction; Best Original Score; Best Ensemble; Second Best Director for Wes Anderson)
ParaNorman — 2 Nominations, 1 Paul (Best Animated Feature)
Prometheus — 7 Nominations, 1 Paul (Best Trailer)
Safety Not Guaranteed — 1 Nomination, 0 Pauls
Skyfall —8 Nominations, 2 Pauls (Best Sequel, Remake, or Ripoff; Best Cinematography)
Seven Psychopaths — 1 Nomination, 0 Pauls
Silver Linings Playbook — 1 Nomination, 0 Pauls
Wreck-It Ralph — 1 Nomination, 0 Pauls
Zero Dark Thirty — 10 Nominations, 5 Pauls (Best Scene; Best Original Screenplay; Best Actress for Jessica Chastain; Best Director for Kathryn Bigelow; Best Picture
24 Total Awards
See y’all next year.
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